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How Can I Increase My Sex Drive

How Can I Increase My Sex Drive?

Sex strengthens most relationships, and lack of it can even lead to breakup if not well handled. One of the reasons that lead to no sexual intimacy in a relationship is low sex drive. It becomes worse when one partner has high libido while the other has a lower sex drive. That requires you to look for the best way to boost your libido and match your partner’s. 

But do you know how to increase your sex drive and enjoy a healthy relationship? Read on and understand how I can increase my sex drive, boost my sexual confidence, and benefit health-wise from orgasm.

Causes Of Low Sex Drive

Several reasons lead to low sex drive in men or women. For example, some medications like antidepressants may contribute to low libido. Also, some diseases like diabetes, arthritis, or cancer can affect your sex drive. Finally, neurological problems can also lead to this condition.

Genital changes during sex, like vaginal dryness, which results in painful intercourse, can also reduce your sex drive. In addition, fluctuating hormone levels may lead to low libido. So if you have a hormonal imbalance, be ready to experience low sex drive and other effects. 

Erectile dysfunction, problem ejaculating, and painful sex can also make you have low libido. Other reasons are poor communication, loss of sexual attraction by one partner or stress, conflicts within the relationship, and lack of trust. 

Reduce your Anxiety Level

One reason which affects most people’s sex drive is having a lot of things to worry about. Having stress will lead to anxiety which will prevent you from releasing sex hormones. For example, you could be worried about job-related issues, relationship problems, or many caring responsibilities you’re to take care of. With all these, it’s hard to think about sex, and when you do so, anxiety will affect your performance. To reduce this, work on your anxiety level and look for the best ways to be stress-free. Unfortunately, anxiety also makes it hard for you to erect or get aroused and even maintain an erection. 

To manage your anxiety, you can do the following, which will also improve your mental health;

Ensure you get enough sleep daily

If you can, sleep for at least 7 hours or even 9 hours per night. You should also ensure you get quality, uninterrupted sleep. If you do this, you’ll have increased sexual arousal, which is healthy for your relationship.

Spare some time for your favorite hobby 

If you want to reduce your anxiety level, take time and do some things that make your mind relax. If it’s dancing, do exactly that. But if it’s listening to music or watching movies, don’t forget to release your stress from them. Doing what you like will make you happy and forget some of your worries. If you can make it a daily practice, the better, but doing this when you’re about to engage in sexual activities can also help.

Exercise to reduce your anxiety level 

Through this, you’ll be able to divert your attention from the things that make you anxious. Exercising also makes your body move, reducing tension in your muscles; this will help manage anxiety; when you exercise, your heart rate increases, changing the brain’s chemistry. 

This will increase the production of anxiety neurochemicals and serotonin, which make you less anxious. Other neurochemicals released during exercise are endocannabinoids, brain-derived neurotrophic factors (BDNF). Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) will also do you good and, in turn, improve your libido. You will also develop resilience while exercising, which will also make you manage anxiety.

Eat the right foods 

Some foods can help you manage your anxiety levels. Foods like yogurt positively affect your brain as they have healthy bacteria like lactobacillus and bifidobacteria. Some studies show that eating yogurt makes some people happy, which helps reduce anxiety. Eating dark chocolate can also help you reduce stress and anxiety as they tend to improve moods. Eggs can also help you regulate anxiety because of the tryptophan, an amino acid responsible for making serotonin, which regulates mood, sleep, and memory. Other foods include pumpkin seeds, turmeric, chamomile, and green tea. 

Another thing you should consider doing is working on your relationship if it’s the cause of your stress. For example, if you’re about to separate because of some issues and neither of you is comfortable about it, sit down and talk. You can also talk to a therapist about your condition and get some advice about the whole issue.

Work On Your Relationship

If you’re sure your lack of sex drive is because of your current relationship status, work on it. For example, staying away from each other might cause all these. If you’ve been in a relationship for too long, it can affect your sexual drive, especially if you don’t do anything to rekindle it. 

To improve your relationship, consider the following;

Plan for regular dates

If you want to spice a dying relationship, go on regular dates. That can be a date night, going for vacations, or lunch dates. You can order foods that boost libido or do activities that will make you intimate and increase your sex drive through date nights. You can order foods that boost libido or do activities that will make you intimate. Remember, during dates you should also put on sexiness to attract your partner. Flirting, touching, and some talks can also work wonders. 

Perform various activities as a couple

Some activities outside the bedroom can help you increase your sexual urge. For example, you can go for evening walks together in the park, watch erotic movies together, or masturbate in front of your partner. Doing this can help put both of you in the right mood for sex. Don’t forget to include sex toys, as they can improve your low libido. 

Learn How to Communicate Effectively as A Couple

At times lack of proper communication can interfere with your sex life. To do this;

Have open communication

Having open communication leads to trust and closeness, which in turn improves your sex drive. Once you’re emotionally connected to your partner, your sexual desire will increase and lead to a healthy relationship. Although you can communicate through touch, some sounds can also tell your partner exactly what you need. Texting or calling your soulmate is also another way of communication. 

You can take your time and tell your partner what you’re not happy about or apologize for your mistake. Also, calling to tell them how you feel about them or sexting can lead to better sexual moods and performance. Remember, sexual desires can diminish because of how you handle one another. So, take your time and tell your partner how you want it during sex. Talk about your sexual differences, boundaries, and fantasies and see a significant change in your libido.

Spare some time for one another 

Commitments can rob you of your loved one and lead to a low sex drive. For instance, when a job keeps you busy through the week, set boundaries and let the office be for work and home for your partner. 

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, try your best to be there for one another. Also, going to bed and doing activities together can increase your bond and your intimacy level. 

Concentrate on foreplay

At times not getting a full erection or arousal can interfere with your partner’s sexual drive. If you penetrate your woman, it’s painful and can make her hate the act if she’s not fully wet. 

Good foreplay will help you be in the mood and concentrate on the act better. You can touch, kiss, use sex toys to stimulate each other, or perform oral sex. 

Don’t rush doing this because you’re trying to make your partner comfortable and in the right mood. Foreplay for women is vital because it’s hard for them to orgasm through penetration only. You need to do their clit justice and also stimulate other body parts like breasts too. 

Use Herbal Medicines That Boost Sex Drive

Some research shows that herbal medicines can help improve a person’s sexual performance in men and women. 

Use Maca

You can try using maca which has been used for a long time to boost fertility and sexual drive. In some studies, maca has been proven to increase sexual desires in men, while another study done in 2008 shows that it helps reduce the menopausal effects on women. It also improves someone’s mood and relieves anxiety, which is one of the causes of low sex drive.


Tribulus is a small leafy plant with roots and fruits, which are famous Chinese traditional medicines. It’s available as a sports supplement and sold as a testosterone booster and increases sexual drive. 

It’s evident in some studies that women with low sex drive got improvement after taking 750mg of Tribulus Terrestris by 88%.  It also helps in reducing swellings and acts as an antidepressant which can reduce stress and anxiety levels. 


Ginseng is an Asian herbal that can improve sex drive both in men and women. It can also help with erectile dysfunction in men and increase female sex drive. That is because it seems to affect the dopamine system in both sexes. 

Watch Your Weight

If you’re overweight, try as much as you can to lose some kilos. If you lose weight, your body undergoes various changes like increased energy level, confidence, and happiness. Lack of this might be the reason why your sex drive is low. 

Being obese leads to high cholesterol levels and BMI. High cholesterol level in your body results in a build-up of plaque in your blood tissues, reducing blood flow to your genitals. That, in turn, makes it hard to get aroused, maintain an erection, or orgasm. On the other hand, high BMI reduces testosterone levels which is a hormone responsible for sex drive.

Exercise Regularly to Increase Sex Drive

If you want to increase your libido, spare some time for exercising. Exercising will help increase blood flow to various body parts, including the sex organs. It also helps you lubricate and reduce stress, which leads to low sex drive in women. 

It would help if you exercised to increase your strength, which helps produce testosterone, adrenaline, and endorphins. Having these hormones will increase your sex drive and also make you confident. You can exercise with your partner then enjoy the effects of endorphins after exercising. 

But don’t over-exercise as you’ll come out tired and unable to do anything. Remember, exercise will also help you reduce stress, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels.

Reduce Your Alcohol Intake

Don’t forget to reduce the number of glasses of wine you take daily. Alcohol affects your sexual stimulation as it interferes with signal interpretation between your brain and sex organs. After you drink, you may ejaculate faster or have problems ejaculating. 

As a woman, you will not orgasm or have a less intense orgasm. Your sex drive also will drop, especially after drinking longer, which affects the production of testosterone. Low testosterone leads to a low sex drive. 

If you have to drink, take one glass of wine, increasing your interest in being intimate. However, too much alcohol will increase your erectile dysfunction and reduce your chances of orgasm. 

Talk To Your Doctor About Sex Drive

Although taking herbs and practicing the natural approach of improving sex drive work talking to a professional may be helpful. Consulting with your doctor will help you identify the leading cause of your predicament. 

Your doctor will advise you on the right way of handling this situation, boosting your sex life. You can be advised to treat the underlying condition, choose a healthy lifestyle or communicate with your soulmate. 

If you’re taking medicines like anti-depressants that affect sex drive, your doctor might advise you to take fewer side effects. For example, if it’s menopausal effects that affect estrogen levels, your doctor might advise you to use estrogen therapy. Alternatively, you may be given pill flibanserin which boosts libido in premenopausal women having low sex drive.

Note that these medications are prescribed after your doctor performs a pelvic exam or after you’ve undergone tests like liver problems.

Understand Your Body

Sometimes you might be having a low sex drive because of not understanding your body well. Remember, you can’t be sexually active throughout the month, especially for females. 

But you’ll find that on certain days you’re more aroused than others. Also, you may be sexually active at a particular time of the day. So, it would help if you learned to know this and enjoy it during that period. 

Also, some parts get aroused just by a tickle, while others need thorough foreplay. So, strive to achieve this. Note that it’s easier to get aroused than get sexual desire, which you should work towards achieving. 

You can do that by watching porn, fantasizing, watching erotica movies, and touching yourself. Doing this will help you know what turns you on and increases your sex drive. Introducing something new in the bedroom will definitely spice up your sex life. 

Change The Type of Birth Control You’re Using

Some birth control methods might interfere with your hormones which in turn reduce your sex drive. For example, they can either reduce testosterone production or make sex painful, affecting your libido. Likewise, pills, patches or rings affect the production of androgen hormones leading to low libido. 

Using oral contraceptives will also boost the production of sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG) in the liver. When this happens, testosterone, which is a sex hormone, won’t be circulated to the body affecting your sex drive. 

If you can, use condoms that have no effects on your hormones. You can also use progestin-only birth control pills that have no effect on androgen levels and don’t reduce libido. Alternatively, using hormonal or non-hormonal IUDs is good as they don’t increase the production of SHBG.


Having a low sex drive leads to both physical and emotional effects. So, if you’re suffering from this condition, it’s best to look for a way to improve on it. For example, you can change your diet, exercise, reduce your weight or consult with the doctor. But don’t forget to improve the communication between you and your partner. Lack of communication can push away a partner, which may result in low sex interest. 

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